Coming Back to Home

Even with the foundation in dhamma,
as I spent more time at work
pursuing career
mixing with peope of worldly pursuit & thinking
and spending less time 'coming home'
I find myself getting further and further away from this 'home' right inside
lost in the world of work,
work created by crazy ppl for crazy persuit
to get more money and fame
the entire work culture has changed from the outside
the work culture has encouraged ppl to work more
for money, fame and status
against healthy lifestyle, healthy mind, heanlty body

My life which was once simple
has now become complicated
A simple act of sleeping early has then (last year) become so difficult
A simple act of exercising three times a week has become so difficult too
Due to the need to prepare PowerPoint as teaching material every night
The exhausted body that needed more rest than having the energy to exercise
The burning anger and unsatisfaction, with the consistantly lack of sleep
for a year
has been a rich soil to degenerate the body and mind

This kind of continuous stress for 3 years, can quickly degenerate a body that is well maintained for the past 20 over years

I have had enough of it.
I want to take charge of my life, my body, my mind
I want to come back 'home'

I have placed priority on health now
Proper breakfast, enough rest and sleep early
I will start to adjust my exersice this month
I will give time to quiet down the mind
and strengthen the mindfulness to observe the nature of mind body processes

One thing that I am grateful now is I am still care free
The price to pay to get a companion
Is not worthwhile than having a carefree life
At least for a Chinese woman in Malaysia
I am not a free high class maid for life
Not on call 24 hrs, any time, any where
Not a baby production factory
Not a vase
Not a christmas tree
No no...

I am a woman who leads a care free life
Nobody to command me
Belongs to nobody
Reports to nobody

Enjoying my care free life
As I contribute to the growth of my students, my babies, my angels and warriors...
Doing what I love
Leading a meaningful life
Yes I am
Reaching the love from within
Reaching the peace from within
Reaching the clarify from within
And sharing this energy/ vibration from 'home'
Thank you, lord Buddha, my mum, my masters, my dhamma friends...