Yoga, Massage or Being in the Present?

I went to my 'godmother's' house today.
As usual, she is always very concern about my neck pain.
So she on her newly bought yoga DVD to show me
Actually I am not interested at all...why , I also dunno...I already have my set of yoga & aerobics.
but since she on it, I just see what's in it
Its actually like chi kung, stretching, and one thing that I have been doing
tapping the whole body to dissicipate the excess energy
This reminded me to do this every night before I sleep.

Then she also showed me a book on massage that she wanted to give me as a Bday gift.
I used to be very interested in massage as I have an in born feeling of ppl's pain as I massage the problematic area...i can feel the pain in my body too as i touch the painful part of another person...this I dunno why...
But, now that she presents me with this book, I have no interest at all
I told her that I have no interest to read de, I dunno why...
Is it too busy and stressed and now who cares about these things?

But not really...
When she told me about a set of CD with the topic " The Art of Presence", (by Eckhart Tolle),
Its a series of talk recorded from a meditation retreat, my mind was infused with interest
And soon, I borrowed a set from her, so that i can listen every day at home during this hol.
Ever since I started working, I find it hard to balance my life between work, exc and spritual devp.
Its even so these 3 years. First two because I was studying masters. So apart from teaching, my hol and weekends are used for doing assignment. Last yr, also busy...dunno for what. But the good thing is I went back to my shi fu's place to meditate (it's more like a holiday for me to quiet down my mind after 2 yrs' torchuring to my mind with excessive stress).
This year, even so , the reason, explained clearly in the previous blog. I felt like I have lost touch of my spiritual journey, it has become stagnant... or even reversed...
But now I know, that it is already deep in my heart...cannot be lost, deep in subconcious mind, after many many retreats, especially the 4.5 mths's retreat, which open up a new paradigm for me to look into life.
Life appeared to me in two angles:
1. The conceptual world, every thing is a mind made believe
Good or bad, pretty or ugly, like and dislike
2. The nature of all events, mind and body, its just a condition when an object strikes the mind, the conciousness is aware of it, and so it arises and then in its natural course, subsides....one after another, non-stop...And at this angle, the mind is so free, not trapped by the concept...just looking at the happenings of the nature as they are...and not participating in it, but just know...
Not only that, the dharma just unfold very clearly, moment after moment...and the mind is not easily trapped, by delusion of self, greed, anger....so its free...

To be able to see in the second perspective, the mind needs its nourishment just like the body. And this I have not done for so so long...and I felt sad about it....it is really wonderful to be able to see things as they are, not in the conceptual/ limiting way....

I want to live a spiritual life...to see all life processes clearly as they are...and be free in mind....